The Iron Spine

Never let down your guard
Wash the dishes IMMEDIATELY after eating
Put your laundry away
Cover the hood when it rains
Break down the cereal boxes in the recycle bin
Never roll up the dishcloth,
lay it aside the sink
Put a cover on the pasta sauce in the microwave,
don't use bundled paper towel
And really--Mix the sauce, don't pour it
Have replacement toilet paper on stand-by at all times
Use a wooden spoon to stir
Make your bed every morning
Shunt the side window in summer
Go for a bike ride already
the chain's rusting for Pete's sake!
(so oil that too)
Don't watch your programs in the living room
Don't take up chair-space
Answer every question
even if they're from down-the-hall
and the music is playing
or there's a DVD on
or you're checking your bank balance on the phone
Make certain the work van's pulled over far enough
in the drive
Don't have too much milk
Don't touch the coffee or cornflakes
Don't organize the refrigerator shelves TOO much
Avoid the basement
and the phone's not for you
Never ever ever ever complain about work,
about not making enough money
Don't borrow or ask favors
You need to vacuum the room soon
Stay on top of your bills
they are the most important things in life
centerpiece accordingly
There should NEVER be collection calls going to the house
Attend mass
at least on the holidays
Don't dare be sick
& lie around in bed all day
And forget personal days & holidays,
you should always be up & about w/ busywork...
no downtime
Don't bring the pan down to the room
Put everything on a tray
Don't eat there
or here
or really anywhere
Pay the rent PROMPTLY
no more excuses...
otherwise, questions as to where the money's gone?
No one over
(fat chance of that)
Always say where you're going
as you head out the door
Talk less
it's all about being an audience, seriously
Brush your teeth & shave every morning,
don't grow your hair too long
Dress accordingly
Throw out those favorite old sneakers
Be afar on weekends
That's it for now