In Everyday Life...

Today's title from a clipped author bio...
delineating the man's many authorial accomplishments
& publications...
then ending w/ that great BUT!
BUT the dayjob teaching at some rinky-dink college!
BUT the wife & 2 kids!

Well, today is the coattail BUT of my weekend,
driving back through the windswept squall of rain & brakelights
from NoHo to NoWhere, MA.
Back to the old high school bedframe & Simple Minds wall poster.
Slinking in not to wake the parent.
And here I am Sunday AM...
no romantic entanglements, no awed college-somethings,
no drunken sordid stories...
Just me driving along MA Pike alone in the rain,
leaving voicemail to the -ex.
Watching chubby lovers neck & feed each other McDs
under the awning of a highway stop-off.
Is that what I'm envying?
Hardly. That's settling much like the fat fat fat bodyparts...
those two damned before they even know it.
Only who am I to judge?
I'm jaded & old (walk around a collegetown on Homecoming Weekend
& you too will feel ancient compared to the Hot Top tweens &
well-thighed Smith trackstars).
I simply want to eliminate the BUT
when all my life is this dry-humping BUT.
Yes, I live Mode A to accomplish Means B...
and yesterday's screening @ NIFF was great vindication.
BUT who cared?
BUT what did it accomplish?
BUT did I get the girl?
BUT did I get the love of my vast unsuspecting public?
BUT...

Eating gluey ketchup french fries at midnight,
while the rain splashed the windshield & the flubby lovebirds
licked their fingers a few feet away.
I'm blasting the Skinny Puppy & thinking of upstate NY again,
all these old memories of should've would've could've
colliding this weekend.

NIFF was good. Liked the Johnny Cash movie.
Liked the record shop doc.
But little else clicked. Did chat it up w/ a few other filmmakers
even though my hair was destroyed by the rain
(again w/ the McDs reference...but looking in the overhead
concave reflection above the register & the security cam monitor,
I looked monstrous w/ the plastered back hairline...
& this extra 10 pounds of gutcheese).
My confidence so tied into my looks.

Wowsers, this is all over the place today. But pops has returned
from his bikeride & I'm alternating recollection w/ "uh-huh's" &
"oh's" to his topics.
So will end this now.
Because I'm back in the rote,
the treadmill tracks & bachelor solititude.